5 Big Adjustments That Will Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
In trying to put a broken relationship back together, you'll need to make some adjustments. Learn which positive changes you can make that will get your ex boyfriend to notice you and want you back.
Your breakup happened for a reason. Your boyfriend was obviously unhappy with the way things were, and his way of doing something about it was to break up with you.
Rolling with this whole idea, getting him back will require changing things up a bit. You can't just ask your ex boyfriend for a second chance and expect he's going to give it to you... not unless something has changed in a positive and attractive way. Your ex needs to feel as if things will be the way he wants them, but most of all, he needs to be attracted to the idea of dating you again. Until this happens, you'll never get him back.
So what can you do to make him want you again? What do you say to an ex boyfriend that will make him want you back as his girlfriend once more?
Actually, it's not so much in what you can say to him, but in what you do. Actions speak much louder than words, and if you can show your ex boyfriend a whole different side of you, you'll end up getting different results. Right now, he's rejected you in lieu of looking for something else. Which means that by showing him something he wants, you can very quickly get your boyfriend interested in you again.
Before doing anything, make sure you have a step by step plan for withdrawal and contact. Beyond that, the following adjustments will help get your boyfriend back after an unwanted breakup. They're also in keeping with yourself, so you're not changing or altering your personality to suit your boyfriend's needs:
Stop Trying To Kill Him With Kindness
Have you been a total angel since the breakup? Has everything you said to him been sappy and sweet? These behaviors might seem geared toward getting your ex to love you again, but in reality they're a lot less attractive than you think.
If you're bending over backwards to try and make your ex happy, you're only coming off as weak and insecure. And if you're trying to change and mold yourself into your ex boyfriend's vision of the perfect girlfriend? That's an even worse scenario. Not only won't you live up to his standards, but you'll probably make yourself miserable in the process.
Loving your ex boyfriend is one thing... covering everything in sugar is quite another. Never be angry, bitter, or nasty to an ex that you're trying to get back together with, but don't be annoyingly nice either. Just be yourself, and you might be surprised at how much further it can get you.
Don't Keep Trying To Change His Mind
Before breaking up with you, your boyfriend sat down and worked out the pros and cons. In the end he came to a decision - he was definitely leaving you - and the last thing he wanted was for you to try and talk him out of it.
Want your ex to miss you? Then agree with and accept the breakup. Walk away with dignity and maintain his respect. By not chasing your boyfriend and hounding him for 'another chance', you're actually aligning yourself on his side of things. You almost become his ally, and he'll actually start seeing you as being in his corner again. If you've been fighting or arguing a lot toward the end of your relationship, this can be a refreshing change for him.
Don't think of this as giving up on your romance... think of it as allowing the breakup to resolve itself so the healing can begin. Once that happens, you can start working on ways to get your ex back. But you know what? You can't get him back if you're still fighting him on the breakup in the first place.
Step Telling Him You Love Him Over and Over Again
Way too often, you'll be tempted to tell your ex how much you love him. Over and over again you'll say it, to the point where your ex boyfriend doesn't even hear it (or care about hearing it) anymore.
The fear of losing him - coupled with the fact that you haven't seen him since the breakup - can easily make you lovesick to the very pit of your stomach. You'll want to say anything and everything to get your boyfriend back, and this severely damages his opinion of you. You're smothering your ex with too much affection here, and you're coming off as needy and desperate. He'll start asking himself: "This girl needs more so much more than I need her... why would I ever want her back?"
Have something you really need to tell your ex boyfriend? Write it down. Then fold it up, fold it again, seal it in an envelope, and then bury or burn it. Get those needy feelings out on paper and then lose them quickly. This will make you feel better without making you look foolish.
Never Lie Down For Your Ex Boyfriend
Believe it or not, guys admire women who are strong, confident, and independent - the same qualities women go for in a man. Guys also admire women who stand up for themselves. So why would you think laying down and "doing anything" to get him back will work for you? What makes you think your ex boyfriend would even want to date someone (again) who needs them that badly?
Pride goes a long way toward winning back an ex. By keeping your boyfriend's respect, you're ensuring he'll see you as something to be desired. Your boyfriend wants someone he can be proud to call his girlfriend. By laying down and doing anything he wants (including providing him with sex), you become nothing more than a desperate plaything he can call when he's bored.
Don't Shower Your Ex Will Love and Attention
Know what will make your boyfriend want you back again? NOT seeing you all of the time. NOT hearing from you every single day. NOT getting text-messages, emails, and other forms of communication that you put forth in a determined attempt to keep in touch.
Many women make the same huge mistake after their boyfriends break up with them: they think they need to stay within easy reach or they'll soon be forgotten. The funny thing is, exactly the opposite is true. The more your ex sees and hears from you, the less he needs you around. The more your boyfriend is reminded of exactly what you're doing, the more comfortable he feels in continuing the breakup.
Sending cards, love letters, even gifts...these things won't help you reverse your breakup. Your ex isn't going to suddenly realize he's made a mistake because of something you've pointed out using logic or money. Getting back together takes feelings and emotions... your boyfriend needs to miss you, think back to fun things you did, and suddenly want those things again. There are no shortcuts to making him feel that way, other than to remove yourself from his life completely and allow him to feel the void created when you're totally gone.
Want your ex back? Don't leave things to chance. Arm youself with the reversal techniques and knowledge needed to successfully put yourself back in his life again.
