Post-Breakup Jealousy, and How It Can Help Get Your Ex Back
Jealousy: it's one of the strongest and most compelling of all human emotions. And after an unwanted breakup, you'll be jealous of just about anything and everything your ex does without you.
But what if you could make your ex jealous as well? What if you could make them feel that same uneasy feeling in the pit of their stomach... the same doubts and uncertainties that you do right now?
Making your ex boyfriend or girlfriend jealous can be a crucial part of getting them back. In many cases jealousy can be good - it strips away coverups and false pretenses and exposes your ex's true emotions and feelings toward you.
Jealousy also tends to cause action. Used correctly, it can produce instant results - even in the case where your ex hasn't contacted you at all, or seems to be completely ignoring you since the break.
At the same time however, jealousy is also a dangerous thing. Use too much of it (or use it in the wrong way) and you could cause a violent emotional backlash. And once your ex realizes you're using jealousy as a level to pull them back in your direction, everything you say or do loses credibility from that point on.
How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Jealous
When it comes to applying jealousy to your breakup situation, there are three major rules:
1) You want your ex to see you as successful, outgoing, happy and confident.
2) You want to appear totally carefree, unconcerned, and totally 'over' the breakup.
3) You want to convey a sense of urgency in that your ex is going to totally lose you.
Finally there's a fourth unwritten rule that must be followed, and that is to NEVER let your ex know or suspect that you're intentionally trying to make them jealous.
Sitting around, sulking, acting miserable, chasing your ex... these things mark you as needy and desperate. It's impossible for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to be jealous of your situation, because you have no situation. They quickly see you as damaged goods; something they wouldn't even want to take back, no matter what you offered them towards a future relationship.
Going out, doing things, seeing other people... these are the things your ex will be jealous of. And the more fun you're having? The more your ex will feel left out of that fun.
There will come a time when your boyfriend or girlfriend looks back over your past relationship and thinks about what they miss most. Chances are they'll miss the good times you had together - the fun things you did, the memories you created, the places you went... these things mark important moments during your romance that you'll both remember.
There are additional reconnection techniques you can even use to make these feelings stronger. The more you can get your ex thinking about the best parts of your past relationship, the greater the chances of getting them back.
Something happened during the course of dating each other that prevented you from having more of these great times, and this is one of the reasons it was so easy for your ex to let you go.
By getting out and having these great times once again, you're showing your ex that he or she never really mattered. Their ego will be bruised when they see you having fun without them.
Remember: your ex had the expectation that you'd sit at home mourning the loss of your relationship for a while. Yet here you are enjoying life more than ever before and doing things that your ex has always wanted to be doing with you. The result? Instant jealousy based on the idea that you no longer need them.
Letting Your Ex Know About Your Post-Breakup Success
An ex always looks back over his or her shoulder after breaking up with you. No matter how cold or unfeeling they might seem, or how completely your ex has broken contact? There's still a curiosity and need for them to know that you're doing worse than they are. Seeing this reinforces and validates their decision to end the relationship.
That's why it's so important to keep your chin up - and your pride up - as much as possible after getting dumped. No matter what the circumstances surrounding your breakup or how badly you miss your ex right now, you'll want them to look back over their shoulder and see nothing but amazing things, fluffy white clouds, unicorns and rainbows.
Your ex should never see you bored, or depressed, or sitting on your ass. Instead, you need to give the exact opposite impression. Your ex needs to see you as a rock star. Your days should be nothing but smiles and happiness, and your nights should be parties, friends, cool places, and everything fun.
Seeing you this way will make your ex jealous. Where was this person while they were dating you? Your ex would've loved to have been a part of this new, outgoing you. But for some reason or another, it took a breakup for you to 'cut loose' without them.
Giving Your Ex The Impression You've Moved on Without Them
Nothing's sexier than independence. Your ex would love to think you still need and rely on them for happiness and comfort, so by showing them you don't it immediately disempowers them. At the point they realize you no longer need them, your boyfriend or girlfriend loses a lot of the control they had when they first broke up with you.
Moving on means doing you own thing, but yes, it also means dating other people. Seeing other people to make your ex jealous is one of the fastest ways to get their attention again, and it often provokes an immediate reaction in the form of phone calls and text messages.
By dating after your breakup, your ex instantly knows that he or she stands to lose you for good. This isn't something they had to face before now. In some cases your ex may have been 'trying out' the breakup to see how it fits, and instead of waiting around for them, here you are getting ready to leave them in the dust.
Don't start dating just to make your ex jealous, either. Do it because you want to do it, and because the person you're seeing is someone you like to be around. You don't have to fling yourself head-first into a whole new relationship - especially not if you still want your ex back - but you can date someone casually to regain confidence, make your ex crazy, and above all else, to have a little fun.
And when your ex gets wind of the fact that you might be seeing someone else, and finally gives you a call? Your response is pretty simple. You tell them:
"Yeah, I'm casually dating. Someone asked me to grab dinner and a movie, so I went. We had a really good time, and it was good to get out."
Don't go into specifics, but don't be nasty either. Don't tell your ex "It's none of your business" when they ask who this person was - just be honest and direct about it. And as your ex pushes and presses to find out the extent of the relationship? That's when you say:
"It's not that big of a deal. It was just a date."
If your ex has ANY feelings left for you at all, he or she will immediately backpedal on the breakup. Jealousy will consume your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and they'll spend the rest of the conversation trying to convince you not to date this person again.
Here's where YOU suddenly have the power. Here's where YOU gain back control. What happens next is your move for a change, and your ex is the one who must react to it.
Make sure you know these reversal techniques whenever you speak to an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. They'll always help to sway the conversation in your direction, no matter what you're talking about.
The Next Steps After Making Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Jealous
Planting the seeds of jealousy in your ex's mind is like planting seeds of doubt. Before long, your ex will start asking him or herself hard questions about whether or not they're willing to risk losing you.
While this is a great start, there are other steps you need to take before you can get your ex back. For starters, you'll need to learn how to re-open the lines of communication properly. It's not always easy to know what you're going to say when you do start talking to an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, so having a plan of action is an important part of being successful.
Be sure to check out The Magic of Making up for a complete list of things you should say to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.
T.W. Jackson is now a world-renowned author due to the amazing success of this instantly downloadable e-book. Through his emails and videos, Jackson has already helped tens of thousands of couples get back together again after an unwanted breakup.
The beauty of the system is it works on any breakup situation. There's no minimum or maximum of time that needs to have passed before you can start using these instant reconnection techniques.
Before doing anything else, check out these incredible testimonials from guys who've already gotten their girlfriends back, and from girls who've been reunited with the man they love.
