Taking a Break From Your Relationship - Avoiding The 'Space' Trap
When someone breaks up with you, it's usually pretty cut and dry. They explain why they no longer want to be with you, walk away, and from that point on you go your separate ways.
Sometimes however, another situation arises. A more confusing version of the breakup, this is when your ex suggests "taking a break" from your relationship or some "time off" from each other.
If this is how your boyfriend or girlfriend ended things, the bad news is that your relationship is still over. You can't cling to the hope that it can somehow be saved, if only you 'wait out' this little trial breakup. In short, you can't expect the problems of your romance are going to magically evaporate or disappear simply because you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are spending time apart from each other.
In other words, you can't just put a relationship on hold. Unless watered and fed with affection and contact, it will eventually die. This is why you need to accept that things are over, instead of trying to somehow save things when your partner asks for a break. Dragging things out puts you in an even worse position than agreeing to give your ex some space.
There is good news though, and that's the fact that all breakups are (at one point or another) still reversable. It doesn't matter how your ex may have ended things, or how long ago they said goodbye. The emotional attachments your girlfriend or boyfriend once felt for you are still mostly intact, especially if they ask for a break instead of a breakup.
Getting back with an ex is all about unlocking the past. When you can play upon the original, primary, core feelings your partner once had for you? You can bring them mentally and emotionally - and yes, even physically - back to a time when your romance was fresh, young, new, and totally unbreakable.
Restoring your relationship this way requires instant reconnection techniques, and a knowledge of how to use them. By unlocking the feelings and emotional attachments your ex once had for you, you can get them to feel that way again... and usually very quickly, if you do things right.
Turning Your Break Around - Changing Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend's Mindset
Most people who fail to get their ex back take a wholly wrong approach. They treat their goal exactly like everything else they do in their daily lives, working aggressively toward getting to where they want to be. This approach is more force than finesse - treating the reconciliation sort of like a battle that needs to be won - and this is why they fail.
Reasoning with your ex at this poing is not going to work. You can't explain your side of things once they've already made their decision, and you can't talk your ex out of wanting to take a break. The more you do this, the more power you give them. The more you fight, the less they'll want to keep things going.
Remember, when your ex asks for a break it's usually because they don't want a breakup. In their mind, they're still unsure. Giving them their break is like giving your boyfriend or girlfriend permission to go out there and find what else is available to them... all while you sit back and wait patiently for them to return.
This is why denying the break is always your best move. Instead of rolling with your partner's master plan, you're throwing them a huge curve ball by telling them:
"You need some space? Cool. Me too. Let's break up and do our own thing for a while, because what we're doing now is obviously not working out.
One common thread runs through every single breakup since the dawn of time: you'll never get back with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend until they actually want you back.
This doesn't happen by playing the weak or powerless pawn in your ex's "let's take a break" game. It happens when you make it happen, and when you get proactive about fixing your broken relationship.
Changing your boyfriend or girlfriend's current way of thinking is easy to do, but hard to realize how you need to do it. It often requires doing the exact opposite of everything you've been doing now, since he or she broke up with you.
Got dumped? No big deal. Treat it as if the whole thing doesn't matter to you. Shrug it off, and smile as you walk away.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend wants a break? Great! Give it to them. They want space? Give them a ton more space than they ever wanted, and then some.
Doing these things will put you back in control over what happens next. Chasing your ex or begging for a second chance will NOT. The less you seem to care, the more perplexed your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will be.
They'll wonder how you could've gotten over the breakup so easily, and how you can be so cavalier about not being together anymore.
All of this leads to your ex questioning his or herself... as well as questioning the decision to break things off. When your boyfriend or girlfriend is no longer sure they can be without you, that's when they'll start thinking about getting you back.
And by NOT begging or pleading with your ex? You also maintain their respect. Your ex won't date you again unless they still respect you. That respect can be lost very quickly, unless you're doing something proactive to keep it.
By walking away from your breakup maturely and cleanly, your ex will see you as confident and independent. These are datable qualities, and going down this road is exactly what will get your ex back. To become the person they once loved, you can't let yourself degenerate into a complete, total, out of control mess.
How To Get Your Ex To Want You Back All Over Again
If your boyfriend or girlfriend pushed you away in lieu of having 'some space' to themselves, it means they want you to lay off. At the same time though, it doesn't mean they want you to go away entirely.
In most of these cases, your ex will still contact you. They'll still text you, email you, or even make a few quick phone calls to keep in touch. They'll do this when they're lonely, or when they suspect you may be losing interest. Mainly, your ex will do these things to keep you hanging on.
So what should you do? Easy. You go away entirely. You remove yourself completely from this very complicated equation, creating an actual NEED for you in your boyfriend or girlfriend's new semi-single life.
Your ex can't enjoy themselves while they think you're out doing your own thing, but they can enjoy themselves while your relationship is in limbo. This is why they'll string you along, keeping their options open while trying to keep you 'still there' for as long as possible. But the moment they think they can actually lose you to someone else? That's when the 'break' isn't fun anymore. And that's generally when the break is over, for them and for you.
Saving your break from becoming a breakup is made even easier when you consider the differences between men and women. The emotional triggers that work on a girl are not the same ones that work on a guy, and for that reason the following two instantly downloadable resources are available:
For Girls: The Woman Men Adore
Woman Men adore
is an amazingly-detailed glimpse into what men are looking for in the ideal woman. Bob Grant shows you exactly which behaviors have traditionally been shown to push men away, and which little-known actions you can take to make your boyfriend want you more than ever.For Guys: Get Her Back For Good
Get Her Back For Good
is a breakup-repair resource for guys who feel at the end of the proverbial rope. Author George Karanastasis shows you which steps to take that will win back any ex girlfriend, regardless of how bad or hopeless your breakup situation may currently look like.
