My Boyfriend Wants a Break - What Should I Do?
A break isn't always the same as a break up, but it could easily lead to one. Find out what you can do to stop the process and reverse the situation when your boyfriend asks for some time off from your relationship.
Maybe it would be best if we just took a break from each other...
Is this where you're at? Did your boyfriend suggest taking some time away from your relationship, or something equivelent to a relationship break?
If so, you're probably wondering what comes next. Is your relationship over, or can you somehow keep it going? How long will the break last... who decides when it's over... and what should you do in the meantime while you're waiting around in relationship limbo?
All of these things are good questions, and this is exactly what your boyfriend wants - to keep you confused while he does what he wants.
Talking a "break" is a lot like taking a timeout: you're not allowed to do much of anything until a time-in is called. Your boyfriend expects you to honor this agreement by sticking around and waiting for him, like a good little girlfriend. In reality however, this is the worst thing you can possibly do if you want him back.
Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Wants a Break
A break is nothing more than a cleverly-worded copout. Your boyfriend obviously wants to pursue other interests, and possibly even other people. He's not ready to break up with you however, and because of this he needs you to sit by and wait for him. This gives him the chance to do his own thing without the risk of losing you, because the more confused he can make you the longer you'll wait.
Either your boyfriend will find someone else or he won't. During the break, you won't be allowed to know what he's doing, and that's all part of the trickery. A break is a one-sided world where you're walking on eggshells with everything you do, especially when it comes to ex boyfriend contact. Call him up, and suddenly you're not "giving him his space". But do nothing at all, and your boyfriend could be out doing just about anything with anyone.
So why did he want a break in the first place? That answer's easy: so he could have his cake and eat it too. Maybe he has someone else in mind right now, or maybe he doesn't. Either way, by throwing the word "break" around your boyfriend gets to run things his own way. You on the other hand are on the receiving end of the breakup... you get to sit idly by and hope that he somehow comes around again.
Why a Break Can Only Hurt Your Relationship
Breaks are always destructive - they never really help. It's naively idealistic to think you and your ex will miss and appreciate each other during this time apart, and then miraculously come flying back into each other's arms with renewed love and affection. Those types of things seem to happen in the movies, and that's about it.
Out in the real world however, your ex will probably start dating other people. You might also, either because you're bored from sitting home alone or you'll do it to make your ex boyfriend jealous. The next thing you know you're not even in a relationship anymore because you've both moved on... and now you resent each other to boot. Breaks are very rarely helpful because they're non-mutual: one person always feels as if he or she were slighted by the other.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Wants a Break
Most women actually agree to a break when asked for one, but this certainly isn't by choice. It's more like these women are afraid of losing their ex boyfriends altogether. They'll think that by granting an ex this type of unlimited freedom, a boyfriend will appreciate the openess of the relationship. They'll also think that if they were to say no, they'd be driving their ex into someone else's arms by their non-compliance.
What actually happens though, is that your boyfriend will always go just as far as you let him. Give him a break, and he can easily turn it into a breakup.
This is why always need to refuse this type of scenario. "Taking a break" is a complete fallacy; and it's not something you should be even remotely interested in. Putting your relationship on hold so that your boyfriend can figure out his next life's move isn't something you should be willing to do.
Instead, you tell your boyfriend NO. You let him know that either he dates you or he breaks up with you... there's no middle ground as far as you're concerned. Make sure he understands that you're not going to accept half a relationship: either he wants the whole thing, or nothing at all. And as he tries to process that information, you deliberately turn your back on him and walk away.
This forces your man to make a choice: all or nothing. Chances are good that he still loves you, or he'd be asking for a breakup instead of just a break. By forcing his hand you're making him choose, but you're also earning your boyfriend's respect. In so many words you're letting him know that you won't be placed on a shelf.
What Should You Do If You're Already on a Break?
If your relationship is already on a break, don't worry. There are lots of ways you can get your ex to respond to you, even if it seems he's about to move on. Find out which reversal methods and techniques are best at drawing your ex back to you, and quickly getting him to want you back as his girlfriend again.
