Should I Remove My Ex From My Facebook Friends List?
Facebook is rapidly becoming THE place for keeping in touch with friends and lovers. But what if you break up? Should you remove your ex from Facebook? And what if you still want them back?
Breaking up... seems it involves many different steps these days. Not only do you stop calling and seeing an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, but now you have to stop texting and emailing them as well.
And what about Facebook? Do you continue being Facebook friends with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, or should you break those ties as well?
The answer, of course, lies in your future intentions. If you were the one who broke things off, you might want to cut these last few ties with your ex. Don't do it right away (minutes or hours within breaking up might seem a bit harsh!) but definitely do it within a few days or so.
There's nothing worse than an ex who thinks you're still leading them on, or who takes your Facebook friend status as an open invitation to remain in your life.
Should You De-Friend Your Ex on Facebook If You Still Want Them Back?
On the other hand, if you're still in love with your ex? This is a whole different story. It also requires a different approach, as once you defriend an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend you can't really go back.
If your ex broke up with you, it's important not to panic. Even more important is that you don't overreact. Running home to delete your ex from your Facebook or MySpace friends list might make you initially feel better, but in the long run you'll probably regret this action and wish you hadn't done it.
Moreover, your ex will take his or her "defriending" as a sign of bitterness and rage toward them. They'll immediately see you as the jilted lover - the one who couldn't wait to log in and ban them from their Facebook wall as soon as possible. This makes you look petty and immature, and both those things are highly detrimental if you're going to try and get back with your ex.
How Your Ex Feels After They Break Things Off With You
In the event your ex breaks up with you and you're still in love with them, the best thing to do after the breakup is always the same: NOTHING. By sitting back and doing nothing at all, you're saying much more than you ever could on the phone, through email, or by texting your ex.
Understand something: before breaking up with you, your boyfriend or girlfriend had time to sever some of their emotional ties. They knew the breakup was coming way before you did, and this enabled them to distance themselves a bit. You however, were probably surprised by the decision to end the relationship. Instead of gradually getting used to the idea of being alone (as they did), you had the rug pulled out from under you.
That said, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend still has residual feelings for you. No one can wipe all memory of someone from their head the second they break up with them, which is why your ex will try to bury his or her feelings for you - even temporarily - while they carry out the breakup.
In this way, your ex also expects to lose you gradually, little by little, one step at a time. Even though they ended the relationship, your boyfriend or girlfriend knows (and expects) that you'll try to get them back. They expect phone calls, emails, text-messages, and yes, Facebook contact. Essentially, your ex still wants to hear from you... but for right now, not in the same way you think.
There are some behind the scenes moves you can make while waiting out this portion of your breakup. Just be sure to apply them in a subtle way, while trying to get back with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend.
The Best Way to Handle Facebook Contact After a Breakup
If you're still in love with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend the best thing to do is NOT defriend them on Facebook. By the same token, you should NOT be contacting them online, writing on their wall, or taking place in any of the social networking activities that you used to.
in fact, the best thing to do after a breakup is to not even log into Facebook at all. Let your ex wonder where you are. Chances are they'll be checking up on you anyway, and the less information you give them the better. It should appear as if Facebook is the furthest thing from your mind. Your ex expects you to check out what they're doing by constantly checking their Facebook page, which is why you shouldn't do this even once.
In the face of an unwated breakup, social networking doesn't matter. It doesn't warrant a disconnect or a de-friending. Getting back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend should supercede this type of informal connection, as there are REAL methods and techniques that will make your ex miss you, need you, and eventually want you back.
