Getting Your Girlfriend Back Without Pushing Her Away
Getting back your ex after she broke up with you can be difficult. As you go through the process, there are many smart things you can do to win her back. That being said, one of the most important things NOT to do is push her in the opposite direction.
So often, guys make big mistakes that ruin their chances of fixing their relationships. Getting your ex to want you back requires not making these critical errors, while still making akk the right steps in a positive direction.
When it comes to getting back together with a girlfriend, every move you make is important. But very often, one of the best things to do is always the easiest: nothing at all.
Learning how to win back an ex girlfriend requires lots of tact and patience, and the ability to know when to back off. In fact, backing off is the one key element everyone seems to skip right over.
Most guys fall into making the same common blunders, time and time again, and by acting without thinking things through they make it very difficult to reconcile with an ex. In the rush to get back together they're actually breaking their relationship further apart, into smaller and smaller pieces, and at some point, making it irrepairable.
The best thing to do is slow down, clear your head, and avoid the following big mistakes if you want any chance of getting your ex back:
Begging For Her To Change Her Mind
By the time she ends things, you cannot convince your ex not to break up with you. It's already done. But by crying and begging for your relationship, you're looking extremely pathetic and weak. This will cause your girlfriend to lose respect for you extremely fast, and it's respect you can never get back. Even if you were to end up getting back together, she'll always remember this behavior. Therefore, avoid it at all costs.
And if you've already begged? Damage control is in order. Learn these key principals to getting an ex girlfriend to respect and admire you the way she used to back at the beginning of your relationship.
Always Contacting Your Ex
This is probably the most abused aspect of any break up: calling, emailing, or text-messaging your ex after things have ended. Any contact you make with your ex is a big mistake, especially in the beginning. Staying in touch with her is always a bad idea, even if she wanted to "remain friends" with you.
Getting your ex back is a lot easier when she misses you. If you don't give her the space to miss you, that will never happen. The longer you can go without ex-girlfriend contact, the more she'll wonder where you went and what you're doing.
This gets you on her mind, which is a great thing. So don't email your ex, or call her, or send her messages from your phone. Step back and try to clear your head without any type of contact.
Writing Notes, Cards, or Sending Flowers
No matter how good a writer you are, you can't win back your girlfriend with a heartfelt letter. Ditto for a card. And the bigger the bouquet of flowers? The more desperate you look.
All of these are bad ideas, and they won't work. You're only showing your ex how desperate you're becoming, and this will put her in a position of even greater power over you. All of these are things your ex craved while you were dating... and now you're finally doing them! Except guess what? You're broken up. You're doing them only because your ex left you, and she knows it.
In the end, it's all too little, too late. Although all the letter writing and flower-sending might make you feel better, it's only going to ruin your chances of getting back with your exgirlfriend.
Being Friends With Your Ex
I cannot stress this enough, but here it goes: You cannot be friends with your ex girlfriend! No way, no how. If you're looking to win back your ex, she's always going to know you have ulterior motives. Being friends with her is not the solution, and it's not a long windy road back into her heart. It's actually an expressway away from your ex's romantic interests at about 100mph.
Friendship with your ex has no benefits, only drawbacks. Instead of kissing and holding your girlfriend you have to watch her date other guys. Instead of talking about things the two of you will do together, you'll be talking about stuff she's doing with someone else. In short, it's a living hell you've created for yourself.
Don't humiliate yourself by being the shoulder she needs to cry on whenever she feels down. Either she wants to date you or she doesn't: those are her options. By giving her that third "friendship" option, you're giving your ex an easy way to keep you around while she does whatever she wants.
To learn more about what to do here, check out being friends with your ex after the breakup.
Showing Up To Talk To Her Unannounced
This is a desperate move, made by guys who've been having trouble getting a girlfriend back. Showing up at your exgirlfriend's house, job, or school just to "say hello" is not only awkward, but it's going to cause her to resent and possibly even fear you too. Stalking your ex girlfriend is the fastest way to send her screaming in the other direction. When your ex is scared of you, it's going to be pretty hard to gain her trust back. Remember the golden rule: the less contact the better. Never hunt your ex down just because you feel the physical need to see her: it's selfish and scary.
